Purple belt athlete and firefighter Sirena Allen-De Guzman recently opened up about her experience being groomed by her Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu coach as a teenager, and how the fallout shaped her path in the sport.
Allen-De Guzman began training at age 15 after switching to online schooling.
But what started as mentorship from one of the coaches soon spiralled into something far more manipulative:
I had a bit of an unfortunate situation when I was 15.
I had a coach who was really involved in my world in a way that initially seemed very beneficial, and by the time that I was 17, I was dating my 40-something-year-old Jiu-Jitsu coach.
It began subtly — rides home from training, frequent conversations, and seemingly supportive attention that slowly crossed personal boundaries.
In hindsight, these were the early signs of grooming, i.e. the use of authority & trust to manipulate a much younger student.
When their relationship eventually came to light, the gym’s leadership asked the coach to leave. But instead of taking responsibility, he retaliated against Allen-De Guzman and tried to cut her off from the sport she loved, telling her:
I’m not allowed to train, so you’re not allowed to train.
With no other ties to the wider Jiu-Jitsu community, Allen-De Guzman left the sport entirely.
What followed was years of isolation — from both the mats and her own sense of self.
The relationship continued beyond the gym walls, becoming increasingly toxic:
There were a lot of red flags around controlling money, controlling who I talked to…
I was cut off from friends and cut off from family.It very much was a textbook kind of coercive relationship by the time it came to a close.
The breaking point came when she chose to attend a work function he had forbidden:
It made me realize that I was in this relationship where I couldn’t make a decision like going to a work function without having to deal with the fallout.
After finally ending the relationship, Allen-De Guzman stayed away from Jiu-Jitsu for nearly five years:
I had a lot of guilt…
Would people look at me differently if they knew about this situation?
Fortunately, when she returned, she found a more welcoming and understanding environment.
Her current coach has helped her rebuild confidence and rediscover her place in the sport, telling her:
Don’t sell yourself short.
We’ll develop your skills until you feel like you have earned that blue belt again.
The post BJJ Purple Belt Talks Being Groomed By Her Coach As A Teenager: “I Had A Lot Of Guilt” appeared first on Bjj Eastern Europe.
