Bruno Silva plans to take a break from fighting after coming up short at UFC 308.
“Blindado” revealed on a long video posted on his social media, hours after the loss in Abu Dhabi, that he has dealt with severe anxiety for over four years. The Brazilian middleweight won his first three UFC fights before going on a 1-6 slump inside the octagon.
“I’m a man that always dedicates hard to his professional and personal life,” Silva said in Portuguese. “I’m very happy in my personal life and fulfilled as a man, but there’s been a few years that I have dealt with strong anxiety crisis inside the octagon. Those who don’t know, you feel like drowning. You’re tired and powerless, and all you want is not to be in that octagon. When the first round ended [at UFC 308], the crisis came, and I was very tired. It felt like my heart would come out of my mouth, and I feel bad. I lost my focus entirely. In my mind, I just want to get out of there, you know?”
Silva said he began experiencing these oppressive thoughts four years ago, and they became worse when he fought Gerald Meerschaert. Silva was coming off his first UFC defeat, a decision to future champion Alex Pereira, when he tapped in just 99 seconds against Meerschaert. He bounced back with a first-round knockout over Brad Tavares eight months later, but then lots his next four to Brendan Allen, Shara Magomedov, Chris Weidman and Naurdiev.
“I went to a psychiatrist and started taking medication, did heart exams and there was nothing,” Silva said. “And now, I was doing great. I did all the work, did yoga to calm down and everything, but there are fights that are hard. Some fights are harder than those in the octagon. Fights with our body, our mind, our heart.”
Silva said he will now focus on taking care of himself as a person, leave the fighter aside for a bit, and put his career on pause.
“I have a life ahead of me and won’t fight again like this,” Silva said. “I don’t know how my situation will be in the UFC, if I’m going to be released or not. In case I’m not, I’ll ask for a break. I need some time. I need to check on my body, I need time for myself. I had 10 fights [in three years], I’m one of the most active fighters in the UFC, so I need to take care of myself.”
“To those who like me, and those who are embarrassed, ask for help,” he continued. “Don’t be embarrassed. People will criticize no matter what, so get help. This is my message to you that is going through problems. Ask for help, talk about it. Thank God I don’t have depression, but this is affecting my career, my work, and I’ll only fight again, you’ll only see me in the octagon again, when I’m healed, when I’m well. Fighting like this is too much, it makes me feel bad as a man. I’m devastated to go back home like this. But this is part of life, right?
“I’ve had a victorious career, and now I’m going through a delicate moment. I think I need patience and faith to move forward because life isn’t only about fighting. I have a life as a person, I’m a family man and I need to be well to go back home and put food on the table for my family and people I love. You may think all you want, that I need to change teams and everything, it’s your right. The work was done, but I am the problem. I can go anywhere in the world, the problem is inside me, so I need to get help now. It’s God, myself and a professional to help me now.”
