I Don’t Much Deserve To Be Forgiven

Jacob Couch has recently admitted to abusive behavior towards his former fiancee – and apologized for it.

Emma Bruntil, a decorated Team USA wrestler, said that Couch was abusive towards her and threatened to kill her:

To keep me under his control, he started using threats. He told me he’d get on a plane and find me if I ever cheated on him. He told me he’d k*ll me. He started repeating these threats multiple times per week. When I confronted him about it, he said maybe he wouldn’t k*ll me, but that he’d get on a plane, convince my parents everything was okay, fly to my home state, and stab my childhood dog. Or he would say that I was criticizing him to the point where he’d k*ll himself.

The more he felt his control of me slipping, the crazier and more escalated he was willing to become. Even to the point of bursting in the room and yelling with his finger in my face when I was hanging out with one of my friends, all because he thought that individual was bisexual. Slowly, almost every aspect of my life was under his control. It was incredibly scary.

Finally, on a trip to Mount Vernon to visit him, We broke up. He woke me up one morning by kicking the pillows again, and I knew he was angry. I walked out into the living room, to him telling me “youre done”, with the crazy look in his eyes that I had began to associate with pure insanity. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, but I realized at that moment that it didn’t matter if I had. It was all about if he thought I had done something wrong. When I saw that look in his eyes, I knew that no amount of reasoning with him would help.

He was a 210 pound BJJ black belt that had been telling me for weeks that he would kill me. And here we were. In that moment, I shut down. When he was yelling, I told myself I would do or say whatever it took to make it out of there in one piece.

Couch has now publicly admitted to abusive behavior and apologized for it:

The only thing that really matters is my actions. I let myself get to a bad place.I’m ashamed of the way I acted. My Grandma, my Mother and my sister as well as my current girlfriend I’m sure are all disappointed in me too.

Regardless of whatever caused me to get there I still acted like a child and I really don’t much deserve to be forgiven.

With that being said I just wanted to share Emma’s story. Our story. She deserves that.Even though this happened some time ago I’m sure it’s still just as hard for her now as it was when it happened.

He then stood in defense of his team, where both him and Bruntil trained at:

My team doesn’t deserve any hate. Heath is a good man.He’s done so many things for people and asks for nothing in return ever. I just don’t want anyone cutting them down for my actions.

I know it doesn’t make things right. I know it doesn’t change the past.I hope Emma finds the healing she needs and I wish her the best.

I’m sorry to her, her supporters who were there for her (because I added stress and hurt totheir lives too).My team and everyone else it hurt.

I’ll continue trying to be a better man and a better example now and in the future.