A recent tweet from an influencer has gone viral, igniting a heated debate within the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu community. The influencer expressed outrage after observing a couple attending their first BJJ class together, where the husband was “manhandled” by the instructor while the wife was “straddled” by another instructor.
The influencer questioned the couple’s decision, stating, “Who brings their wife to BJJ to get groped by men and get beat at the same time?” This sentiment echoes concerns from some BJJ practitioners about introducing partners to the sport.
For those unfamiliar with BJJ, intergender training may seem perplexing. However, the primary rule within the community is to avoid inappropriate behavior, regardless of gender. Nevertheless, there are always individuals who may misinterpret the situation or hold outdated views.
UFC veteran Jake Shields weighed in on the viral tweet, aligning with the influencer’s perspective. In his response, Shields cautioned against bringing partners to the jiu-jitsu gym, stating, “These idiots don’t understand basic biology and intersex dynamics.” He warned that even the most secure individuals might face challenges when their partners train with “badass” instructors.
Shields also referenced the case of Tom Brady’s wife, Gisele Bündchen, who was rumored to have been involved with her trainer before their divorce, suggesting such situations are not uncommon. Despite this, Shields acknowledged the complexity of the issue, recognizing that BJJ is an incredible martial art and highly beneficial for women. He also pointed out that while some instructors may engage in inappropriate relationships with students, many instructors uphold high ethical standards.
BJJ black belt Ben, also shares similar advice to lower belt practitioners:
“I’ll tell you the same advice for white belt competitions. If you’re not a person with extensive competition experience, it might be humiliating – you may be entirely distracted if your significant other comes to watch. Especially in a new relationship. It reminds me of my first home team wrestling match as a varsity athlete. It was my first year, I had just made it on the varsity team and I was by all means, still a novice wrestler.
My opponent was a multi-year veteran who went onto a D1 school and state champion. The match lasted under 10 seconds. My girlfriend, my teachers, my neighbors, my friends, the guy who drove the school bus – everyone in my small community saw me absolutely annihilated with such a beautiful throw that I can to this day, remember the ceiling of what my high school looks like in that exact moment as I was being hurled through the air like a ragdoll. I would like to mention though, later on in the season we had a rematch and I manage to lose by points and not a mortal combatesque fatality finish.”
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